It Gets Worse.

Is it human nature to conjure up the worst possible scenarios and imagine themselves facing that? No seriously, am I the only one that, when dropped into a situation that probably wouldn't result into anything out of the norm, would suddenly mentally bombard myself with all the worst things that could happen even though it's highly unlikely that it would ever occur? Please tell me i'm not the only one prone to self harm and destruction through the mental images i portray to myself.

Like, there was once, i had a this really, really intense headache and sometimes it felt like my brains would burst out of my skull in all its bloody glory, i immediately started panicking when my mind just zero-ed down onto the fact that i might have a tumor in my brain. Worry lines started creasing my forehead as my mind rapidly raced through all the worst things that could possibly happen to me, and i begun envisioning days, weeks, and months spent in and out of the hospital, surgeons cutting up my head and yanking the big, bulbous, monstrous tumor out of me, my head clean shaven, ridden of all my hair and never being able to grow back again. The stress of just thinking about it added to my already pounding headache, and it was a while before i realized that there are other plausible, less far out reasons that could've caused this massive headache. Probably that (small, tiny) logical side of me was right, that i was again over thinking everything, that it has been a really hot day, and the heat has been getting me to, for the next day, i was as good as new.

(There are many other instances such as the example above, but to state them all would take up a lifetime, so i shall spare you the despairing, gory details.)

Geez, why do i always do this to myself? Why is it so hard to come to a wholly reasonable conclusion and explanation to whatever i was going through? Why is it that when someone 'needs to talk' you immediately think of how, or in what way, have you wronged that person, or what you've done of late that would've been a negative influence, why can't we just rest upon the fact that he or she might just really want to sit down with you and just chatter on to their heart's content? Why is it so hard? Why do we constantly badger ourselves with what might or might not be and just, let it be?

I admit i'm paranoid. Really paranoid. I get really worked up sometimes when watching TV shows like House or Grey's Anatomy cause, i would somehow fit the descriptions of the patient's sickness and symptoms into my own life, so even when all i'm having is a mild cough or something my mind would just go OH LORD REBECCA YOU HAVE THROAT CANCER YOU'RE GONNA DIE A REALLY HORRIBLE DEATH SO START PANICKING NOW.

Don't ask me why i do this to myself. It's not that i like doing it, heck, it's like slowly, gradually torturing your senses into oblivion. It feeds upon the soul and drains my energy by just thinking about it. I ask myself why too, but i never got the answer.

If i did, i wouldn't be writing this out just to clear things going on in my head right now.
I hate how my brain works sometimes. Wanna trade, anyone, even just for a day?